Sanctity
by Zeelo
Summary: The war of AC195 is still ongoing and Duo finds himself crossing through the doorway of a cathedral on Earth. While dealing with his demons amongst a choir of angels, he discovers that he's not the only one in pain.


Disclaimer: No, I don't own Gundam Wing and it's probably a good thing. I'm not the best negotiator in the world and the Gundam franchise would go bankrupt.

----------------------------

Duo gazed up to the dome above, suddenly feeling small inside the massive cathedral. His eyes followed the rafters until they met with the many walls enclosing the people that remained in the rows before him. Duo stared at the cross hanging at the pinnacle of the church where a life size figure of Jesus lay pinned at his hands and feet. Duo thought it somewhat gruesome for the aura of his surroundings, but who was he to argue? In his mind, God did not exist.

Despite this, it was still a rather breathtaking edifice. Each detail of the stain-glassed windows was carved to perfection as if Leonardo himself had taken a hand to creating the marvel. Scentless candles in small containers sat comfortably over to his right. He watched as a woman walked over and, with one quick puff of air, blew out a candle and left the church with her head hung low, her long bangs cast over her eyes like a veil.

Such a profile gave the place an air of sincerity, something that was usually lost in the worship halls on the colonies. Duo smiled as his eyes fell upon the most genuine thing before him: the boy's youth choir. They were the same to the church as angels were to Heaven, beautiful creatures of grace and song, singing in belief of their faith.

"Excuse me?" Duo turned around and looked at the man clad in black, a soft expression enveloping his features. The man appeared rather humble as he clasped his hands together in front of him. Duo hugged his jacket tighter around him, hoping he wouldn't notice his outfit.

"Oh...hello, Father," Duo responded, turning back his attention to the front of the church.

"I have not seen your presence here before," he said in a gentle tone. "Are you a visitor?"

"Yeah, a visitor." His reply was harsh but he hadn't meant to sound so bitter. The priest, however, seemed to oversee his demeanor and smiled. "I won't be here for long."

"Please, stay. All are welcome here. If you would like, you can rest for the night." Duo returned with a friendly mask covering his face. There was no reason to put a damper on this kind man's spirit.

"That would be nice," Duo replied, pulling at the cross that was hanging about his neck. "I'd like that very much." The priest bowed and began to say something else, but an elderly woman summoned him on an important matter and he turned away with one last wave.

Duo walked slowly down the aisle, but didn't get too close to the others. Figuring it would be best to stay in one of the pews farther back, he knelt on one knee in a polite gesture, resting one of his hands on the hard wood, and made a sign of the cross over himself as he entered the pew with a heavy sigh.

He closed his burning eyes for a few moments and began to bring in the sounds of the church. A high note sent chills up and down Duo's spine and he shivered. They were impressive, almost surreal. He watched the people in the pews further towards the front and could almost see the pride written their, that their children were able to create such music with not one instrument to help guide them except the hand of the director. There was so much wonder on their faces, so much marvel and Duo couldn't blame them. If the choir of angels had understudies, they would be first pick.

But despite the dignity, exquisiteness, and heavenly debut this place had shoveled into those few moments of Duo's life, he still felt dirty. He looked at his hands and rubbed his thumb and forefinger together, wondering if this pale, almost white plaster-like skin was merely paint and underneath remained the red truth hiding in those little, curvaceous prints in his hand. That bright red. _That deepening red. _Duo knew by the time the war was over that red would have been blackened with the blood of his victims, not the OZ soldiers but the civilians he had been forced to kill.

_Thou shalt not kill, _Duo's mind bellowed but he ignored it.

_Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods, remember that one?_ Duo couldn't help but laugh at this, a bittersweet laugh that made him feel empty after he was finished.

"May I sit here?" a voice asked beside him. Duo turned his face away. It was getting harder and harder to put on his disguise. Some days, it was damn near impossible.

"No, of coarse not." Duo could feel the weight shift as the figure sat down slowly. He watched out of he corner of his eye as he crossed his arms and slumped into his chair. Duo could tell he was listening to the choir with some enjoyment, if any. Out of mere curiosity, he turned the stranger and felt a smile tweak his face like an electric shock.

"Heero?" He turned to him gradually as if taking his eyes off the choir would be a sin and send him spiraling into the depths of Hell.

"You sound surprised," he answered, returning to his quiet meditation.

"Yeah, well," Duo stammered. "I just didn't ever expect to see you here."

"Why not?"

"Well, I didn't think you were Catholic...or even had a religion, for that matter."

"I'm not Catholic and my religion is of no concern to you," Heero stated with a hint of agitation prickling his deep voice. "I didn't come here for spiritual guidance."

"Then...why are you here?" Heero shrugged, rolled his shoulders and then leaned onto the uncomfortable wood.

"I have a taste for fine music." Duo nodded his head and laid back again, feeling a bit more relaxed knowing that if push came to shove and they were attacked, Heero would be on his feet before he could even blink.

"I envy you sometimes," Duo said after some silence had evolved between them like a hovering mist. Heero looked at him, the only indication that he wished him to continue. "So much power, such much control, so much of that damned cockiness. I swear, if I gave you a spoon, you'd dig your way to China if you had the chance. I wish I were as efficient as you."

"You're not a helpless individual."

"And that's what makes you so..._incredible_. I've got what it takes to be a Gundam pilot. But what you've got? Admit it, you're the epitome of the Perfect Soldier, the embodiment of what people yearn to be on the battlefield. I mean, yeah, you're not Mr. Sociable, but you've got what it takes. Not what I have." Duo's face darkened as if a black sheath had been placed over his outline. "I have regret...anger...emotions that just get in the way of my battle. I fight for revenge. So what happens when I get that revenge and the war isn't over? What if OZ disappears but someone else shows up and ruins everything?"

Heero watched him in interest, finding his surprising change in attitude both curious and disturbing. "Heero?"

"What is it?" Duo turned to him, his voice laced with evident melancholy.

"How many of those boys will die in war?" Heero frowned at his question and thought carefully about his reply.

"None if we can do anything about it. Why do you think we were sent to Earth in the first place?"

"To challenge OZ and protect the colonies," he replied in an expressionless tone. Heero shook his head and waited until they made eye contact.

"Why did you come to Earth?" Duo's eyes shimmered in the light of the church like the candles behind them. Heero wondered how long those orbs would take until they had no strength left to burn.

"I was told to. I didn't have must sat in it. I guess...I didn't want my Gundam to be a tool for massacres. I mean, that's what I said when Deathscythe was handed over to me. I didn't want any more people to die." Duo glanced over those white robed creatures and half expected them to fly away.

"Why...why did you come?" Duo asked with hesitation. Heero made a quick gesture towards the choir to indicate what his subject was pertaining to.

"No more people should be taught to pilot Gundams. Those boys...their hands are clean—unscathed—they're pure and innocent. Give them a Gundam and they'll be no better off than what we are."

"And what are we?" Heero clenched his hands and ground his teeth, his face still stoic.

"Drones, I believe, at least I am. I'm given an order, I accept it, carry it out, report when I'm finished, and then wait for the next order. It's like being on a merry-go-round. The same thing just keeps springing to life before your eyes. A few things change, but nothing that really makes a difference." Heero readjusted his position as he ran a hand through his untamable locks. "That's not really a life, is it? It's as if someone gave me a message on an answering machine but it was turned down too low for me to hear. I've surrendered by emotions, my thoughts, my..._individuality_, to protect the colonies from OZ. Even when I do get a say in the way I live, it's always being controlled. I'm J's polished marionette doll and he likes to makes me dance."

Heero scoffed at his comments and turned to face Duo, his brow creased with thought. "So, the truth is, Duo Maxwell, is that _I _envy _you_. You knew how to be human before you knew how to be a soldier. You actually know how to live your life. I wait quietly and willingly for death because I'm told to, because no one taught me how to live...only to sit and wait for It to claim me." Heero began to move off the pew and towards the aisle, but Duo's voice made him come to halt.

"So it's true then?"

"What's true?"

"That you don't know anything about yourself." Duo smiled and turned on his seat in Heero's direction. "I think you really do feel emotion. If you go around throwing such bitter statements in my face, you better have an explanation."

"I have none to give you," Heero replied quietly. Duo looked down at the floor and glanced up at him, noticing he was still standing there.

"Then tell me this," Duo said, feeling a bit tense. "How do you deal with all these nonexistent thoughts and emotions?" Heero slid back into the pew beside him and pointed at his chest.

"Do what your heart tells you. That is the best route you can take." As Duo looked down at his finger, Heero brought it swiftly underneath his face and flicked his nose. Duo grimaced and turned away, rubbing it with his palm.

"Very funny." Heero looked down as his com-link was activated. "Another mission?" He nodded slowly and read the material that flew over the monitor screen.

"Infiltrate the enemy's perimeters and destroy all targets."

"Mind if I join you? It's about time I got back to reality." Heero gave him a halfhearted glare but let him accompany him out of the church.

While crossing down the steps, Duo knew that Heero had been correct. If fate gave them a few good cards, despite the horrible ones dealt to them time and time again, all of those boys would never have to lay hands on a Gundam. No one would have to give up their life for the colonies who had declared they didn't even want their help. No one would have watch person after person suffer at their own hands. But most of all, no one would have to suffer alone.

Duo grinned out of the corner of his mouth. If he didn't know any better, he'd say he wasn't the only one in pain. A dreadful demon that had buried a nest into his chest had just been exercised, and he had Heero to thank for it.

**END**

**----------------------------**

Okay, this was my first ever fanfic that I've placed on , or any other place for that matter. I hate computers but I love writing, so if you have any comments or suggestions, I'd love for you to review. Thanks.-Zeelo


End file.
